The Best Part of Me, was always HIM

Last night I dreamt of HIM again.

He was searching for me. He found me in my dreams. He wanted to say he was sorry for leaving me before and wanted to reconcile our lost friendship. He said he wanted to stay with me forever. He held my hand as we walked in this fictional place. He wanted to turn our beloved friendship into more. He looked similar to how I remember him. My mind turned his hair a darker blonde and his eyes were a darker blue. The love we had before poured out of him and into the hole he left in my heart.
It's like he is saying, "I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing."

I hated to wake up from this dream. Should I try and find him again? Is it worth the pain of rejection? I suffered a deep depression for a long time because of this. Is the risk of finding a reward, worth the pain?

*sigh*

Nip of Motivation

After a long day of laying in bed*, rich with several naps in between watching Gene Simmons: Family Jewels and Kirstie Alley's Big Life, I got a little nip of motivation.

First, I apologize for abandoning this blog. I missed you. I know you missed me too. I'm back ;)

I really want to start getting into shape. Well let me rephrase that. I want to include a workout regimen of some sort in my daily life. I always say that I want that to be in shape, but I REALLY want it now. I'm 25 years old for goodness sake. Contrary to how old I feel in my heart, which is that of a youthful 22 year old forever, I'm not getting any younger. Ive heard my elders say that it gets hard to stay healthy and in shape the older you are. I want to get a head start.

I used to have some 10 lbs weights but when I moved to Wichita Falls, they were lost in transition. Don't ask me how. Its a long story which I do not care to tell. Tomorrow, I will purchase some new ones! I would also like the record to show that I have lost 14 lbs since the move. I moved here on February 6th and today's date is March 21st. I'm taking the weight loss mystery as a gift. Its a sign.

Tomorrow I will start a new part of my day. I'm not crazy about getting rid of the occasional ice cream cone or burger run but I can do it. I know I can. I know I will.

I'll do my best to keep y'all updated.

**The guys and I were in Denison, Texas last night. The weather was crazy snowy and blizzard-like. The drive home would have been an hour and a half but the roads were terrible. It took us three hours to get home. We left the venue at 4:30 am and got home at 7:30 this morning. Needless to say, I was exhausted.**